Silent endurance

I had never faced a situation like this earlier. The term cancer is itself dreadful. Mentally I wanted to become strong to face the situation . I consoled myself that all my worldly responsibilities are over. My children are well placed and settled and they are giving me support which at that time was precious, confidence building and power of love and affection. I remember the day when I had bone biopsy, I pleaded the Doctor to be gentle and make it pain free. I had not been sick throughout my life and do not remember to have a prick and to face a Doctorr as a patient. I tried my best at times to project myself as a doctor to the nurses and the doctors at AIIMS to gain their sympathy and gentle treatment.
Reverse condition – myself being a doctor,I had gone through many situations where the patient wanted my attention, but things went as routine. I remember that on 2nd Jan 2003 I had first chemotherapy. I was very apprehensive, nervous – the chemotherapy needed mixture of drugs given by intervenous route for a period of 4 hrs – first experience of my life. But I cannot run away. Surrounded by family members I had chemotherapy which gradually became a routine. In total 9 chemotherapies, each chemotherapy made me sick for 2-3 days, disturbed me with negative thoughts. I tried to be brave and went through the procedure as adviced. By april 2003 I was bald, no eyebrows, I had no concentration, felt sick all week. Chemotherapy was repeated every 3 weeks. Ordeal finished in june but I was further advised to have radiotherapy.

I decided to have radiotherapy in Patna. I Got 22 exposures. By jan 2004 my treatment was finished. It took me nearly 6 months to go back to my own health, mental frame and daily routine work. Subsequent events and my deteriorating health problem were directly proportional to the chemo and radiotherapy. In late 2004 and early 2005 I developed mouth ulcers and bowel disorder. Later I became anemic and since one year I am on Blood Transfusion. I owe my life to my known and unknown donors, friends and relatives who have arranged and are still arranging for blood. My disease inspite of the aggressive treatment did not regress and after 8 months there was a relapse. In May 2005 I had confirmed report of relapse through biopsy and CT X-ray and was advised further chemotherapy. I decided against chemotherapy. By now I had known its complications and I thought that further chemotherapy will make me disable. I decided for alternative medicine, Ayurvedic. I am taking the medicine for the last 8 months. Life goes on without social involvement. Weak and frail with edema feet, anemic I am not in a position to move out. I am hanging to my life till life is with me.

(Taken from daddy's last few writings...)

Our Vaishnav Devi Trip

If you are going on a vacation with my dad, his youngest brother (my chotka papa), and his youngest sister (my chotki fua) with her husband (my chotka fufa), you can be certain it is going to the most interesting and amusing vacation!! I was lucky to go on one such trip with all four of them in our group to Vaishnav Devi. It has been the most fun and memorable trip ever.

Initially when the trip was planned, I was excluded because I had exams. Thanks to Patna University our exams got postponed. But then my younger sister's exam came up and this time the trip itself was about to be cancelled. But there is a famous saying about Vaishnav Devi……”if Devi Ma calls you, whatever happens you will go there to visit her !” And that's what exactly happened. My sister's exams got postponed too!!

“Chalo bulawa aaya hai…mata ne bulaya hai” !!

We went to Jammu and Katra by train. The town of Katra is located in a high altitude and in the hilly region of lower Himalayas in the Trikuta range and the shrine of Vaishnav Devi is situated about 61 kms from Jammu, at an altitude of about 5,200 feet over the sea level. The exact location of the site up hill is around 14 kms from the Katra town . Our real journey began from here where we had to walk to Vaishnav Devi temple.

The elders decided to plan the budget and made chotka fufa incharge of all the finances and nicknamed him “seth jee”. As we covered some portion of the yatra, we decided to stop for dinner at a restaurant. With our appetites satisfied we continued on our journey. After walking a few more kilometers chotka fufa realized he left his purse with all the money at the restaurant. There was panicky amongst the elders, not that we kids were much bothered by the whole hustle. We walked back to the restaurant and to our surprise a man came running behind us with the wallet. Well… that was one honest person! Impressed by the honesty of the local people, we once again continued with our journey.

At exactly half way of the yatra, we came to a place called Ardhkumari. This was the place where Vaisnav devi hid herself from Bhairavnath. We had to literally crawl through the cave to see where the devi hid herself. We formed a single line and moved in the cave with other people behind us. My dad, uncle, fua and fufa created a sudden chaos in the cave. All four of them suddenly discovered they were claustrophobic. They pushed other people, they screamed, they cried, they even showed they were fainting so that they could get out of the cave! But there was no way out, except to move with the queue. After much uproar and panic we finally came out through the other end of the cave! My poor dad looked breathless. My uncle was sweating and looked shocked with fright. My aunt looked at us for help and cried “get me out of here!” And where was my other uncle? Everybody panicked again looking for him. Someone shouted that as soon as he entered the cave he forced the people behind him and managed to get out again! Much to everyone's relief we saw him standing near a shop smiling.

We resumed our yatra once again. After hours we finally reached the temple of Vaishnav Devi. It was almost morning. All of us showered and walked towards the temple. We were made to sit in front of a cave, through which we had to walk to see the pindis(idols). We sat down waiting for the temple entrance to open. There were people everywhere. They all looked happy and sang devotional songs. I had just closed my eyes to feel the devotion when I heard whispering and confusion besides me. My dad whispered to her sister “oh no not a cave again!”. My aunt looked in the direction of the temple with fright! My other two uncles were sitting a little further from us. But, to my dismay I heard them shouting to my dad “another cave…. another cave” All four were rather nervous! They could not believe they had walked the entire night to go through a dreaded cave! My mom tried to relax them, but oh no....They were not taking any chances this time! Not after the ardhkumari cave experience. A priest came up enchanting shloks and verses. He signaled all the people to get up and go in the cave. Everyone maintained silence. Everyone except four people! My dad and uncle got up. A few people were directing us to the cave. My dad refused to go in the cave. My aunt and both uncles refused too. There was total confusion, with some people trying to convince them to enter the cave. Someone shouted at them to remain silent and pray to god. My uncle replied "there is a cave and you want us to pray. How can we!" My mom then asked someone if they could enter the temple through some other route. Much to everyone’s relief they could! While the rest of us walked through the cave, my dad, uncles and aunt walked through the tunnel happily. Inside, we prayed to the three pindis with great devotion.

On our return back, it began to rain and our group got separated. I found myself walking with my dad and sister. The rest were nowhere to be seen. As we walked we came across a small shrine. There were not many people there. All three of us were so tired that we did not want to climb the stairs that led to the shrine. An old man came to us and told us to climb the stairs and see the bhairavnath temple. He said not many people come to visit here and we were fortunate to be standing there. My dad gathered strength and began climbing the stairs. My sister and me followed behind him.

We finally met my mom and the rest of the group at Katra again. My mom was really happy to see us safe. Everyone had been worried about us.

And thus our Vaishnav Devi trip was a great success. From here we left for my elder sister’s place in Phillaur. Jai mata di....!

Other treatments for Cancer

Surgery-

If you have a cancer that is completely contained in one area and has not spread, surgery may cure it. It can be possible to safely remove the tumor and any surrounding affected tissue in such cases.

Surgery can be successful in treating-
1. Forms of malignant tumor
2. Localised tumor (tumor is in one place).

Surgery may not be possible when-
- the cancer spreads to other areas of the body
- difficult to remove tumor without damaging vital organs, such as the liver or brain.
- if you have a cancer of the lymphatic system (lymphoma) or blood system (leukaemia) as the cancer cells can be anywhere in your body.

Hence surgery treatments totally depend on whether the cancer can be completely removed and a border of healthy tissue, free of cancer cells, is removed with the cancer.

Micrometastases - Sometimes, cancer cells have already broken away from the primary cancer and travelled to another part of the body. These secondary cancers may just be too small to see and are called micrometastases.

Adjuvant Treatment-To ensure destruction of these broken secondary cells, you may be advised to undergo radiotherapy or chemotherapy after your surgery known as adjuvant treatment. Radiotherapy or chemotherapy can also be given before the surgery to shrink the size of the cancer so that it becomes easier to remove. This is termed as neo-adjuvant treatment.

Common problems after cancer surgery include nerve pain, chest and local infections, pain,blood clots and fluid collection around the wound. Antibiotics and pain killers may be prescribed by your doctor.

Lymphoedema-This is not a common after cancer surgery problem and arises in areas where the lymph nodes have been removed. Symptoms usually are swollen hands or feet after the surgery. If ignored for a long span of time this becomes un curable.

Radiotherapy-

This is the process of the use of radiation (a special kind of x-ray, gamma rays or electrons) to damage cancer cells so that they can't multiply. Radiation can also damage the normal cells, but these cells can repair themselves in a course of time.There is usually no pain during Radiotherapy.

Radiotherapy may sometimes be the only treatment needed, or it may be used with other therapies, such as surgery or Chemotherapy. A combination of surgery and radiotherapy may be used for tumors that grow in one place. Radiation can be given in two ways-

(1). External Radiotherapy-Given from outside the body using X-rays, cobalt irradiation, electrons or protons.
(2). Internal Radiotherapy- Given from within by placing radioactive material in or close to the tumour being treated.

Radiotherapy gives great results and benefits, and the risks are less, provided it is used properly. Your doctor should have the knowledge and experience so that the Radiation treatment does not exceed the radiothertherapy limits of each part of the body. Doctors try to prevent as much side effects as possible. They take care to concentrate the radiation rays on the cancerous area from different angles. Persons having same type of cancer can have different treatment plans for Radiotherapy depending on their sensivity to the radiation rays.

You can read how to make a treatment plan for Radiotherapy at-http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/default.asp?page=3605

Side effects-

Radiotherapy can leave you feeling tired.It affects your skin and blood. The red blood cells count can decrease and you may need blood transfusions. Incase your white blood cells count decrease, your treatment needs to be stopped for sometime.It is common to feel anxious and depressed.

Biological Therapy-

Another kind of treatment is biological therapy. This treatment uses proteins to trigger the body's immune system to produce more white blood cells (or lymphocytes). Two lymphocytes that can attack and kill cancer cells are the T-cell and the B-cell. The proteins boost the ability of the T-cell and B-cell lymphocytes to kill cancer. Biological therapy can also be used in combination with surgery, radiation therapy or chemotherapy.
Hormone Therapy-

Hormone therapy is sometimes used to treat breast or prostate cancer. The hormone estrogen can make breast cancer tumors grow faster. Similarly, the hormone testosterone can make cancerous tumors in the prostate grow faster. Drugs that contain other hormones may be used to block the effects of estrogen and testosterone. In other cases, surgery to remove the ovaries or the testicles may be used. Removing these organs reduces the amount of estrogen or testosterone in the body.
Hormone therapy is often used in addition to chemotherapy or radiotherapy.

References taken from-http://familydoctor.org/721.xml
http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/default.asp?page=156

Clinical Trials-
Clinical trials are used to research new ways of treating people with cancer. After a new medicine goes through many tests — both in the lab and on animals — it is tested on people with cancer who volunteer to take part in a clinical trial. The trial helps doctors decide whether a medicine is safe and effective. It also helps determine the correct dosages that patients should receive.

Treating Cancer

The fight against cancer can be won, but it is really difficult. The very aspect that you have been diagnosed with cancer can dishearten you. Above that the treatment procedures can make you very nervous. Hence, a clear understanding of the disease, its treatment and side-effects is essential for the patient and family members. This way, care and precautions can be initiated well in advance.Treating cancer includes medical as well as emotional therapies. Thoughts and emotions of the person undergoing treatment of cancer must be clearly understood and respected by friends and relatives.

Cancer treatments are given according to the specific needs of the patient. The procedures can be carried out at the same time or in sequence in order to prevent both local recurrence and recurrence throughout the body.

Kinds of treatments:

• Chemotherapy
• Surgery
• Radiation therapy
• Biological therapy
• Hormonal therapy

Chemotherapy- is the use of drugs or chemical agents to actually stop cancer cells from growing. Chemotherapy works by destroying cancer cells, but, unfortunately, it cannot tell the difference between a cancer cell and some healthy cells. As a result, along with rapid growing cancer cells, chemotherapy can also eliminate other fast-growing healthy cells in your body, such as hair and blood cells. Some cancer cells grow slowly while others grow rapidly. Chemotherapy drugs are made to target the growth patterns of specific types of cancer cells. Each drug has a different way of working and is effective at a specific time in the life cycle of the cell it targets. This is studied and determined by your doctor. To get the most from chemotherapy, it's important to stick to a schedule of treatment.

People receive chemotherapy by or in a combination through-

• Intravenous infusion
• Pill
• Injection or shot
• Intrathecal and intraventricular injection(a shot into the fluid surrounding the spinal cord or brain).

Undesirable consequences of chemotherapy affecting your body cells not related to your cancer is referred to as a side effect. Some common side effects of chemotherapy are:

1. Fatigue and pain
2. Mouth sores
3. Numbness and tingling
4. Forgetfulness and inability to concentrate
5. Diarrhea,
6. Constipation,
7. Hair loss,
8. Nausea and vomiting,
9. Blood related

Blood-related side effects- All of these side effects may be related to your chemotherapy. They can be diagnosed through your CBC test (complete blood count). They are-

Neutropenia-A low white blood cell count may leave your body vulnerable to infection. It makes your body too weak to receive chemotherapy at the full dose as per schedule, hence, reducing your doses until your count reaches the normal level. Sometimes, your treatment may have to be delayed or stopped by your doctor due to neutropenia. If not properly treated, infection can lead to hospitalization. White blood cell boosters help restore white blood cell counts, reducing the risk of chemotherapy-related infection and prolonged, dangerously low white blood cell counts.

Thrombocytopenia-A low platelet count may cause bruising or excessive bleeding. If your platelet count is low, you should try to avoid situations that may cause injury, bruising, or bleeding. This includes minor things too, for e.g.,using electric razors over shaving blades and soft-bristle toothbrushes.

Anemia-A low red blood cell count means there is not enough oxygen circulating in your body, leading you to feel tired or sluggish. If left untreated, anemia can result in the need for red blood cell transfusions. Some treatments are available to help manage chemotherapy-related anemia. They're called red blood cell boosters. Red blood cell boosters increase the production of red blood cells in the body. Two red blood cell boosters are known to treat chemotherapy-induced anemia:

1. Aranesp® (darbepoetin alfa)
2. Procrit® (Epoetin alfa).

I would like to discuss anemia in detail here. For cancer patients, red blood cells count between 11-12g/dl is considered normal.Up to 80% of cancer patients receiving chemotherapy develop hemoglobin levels below 11. The common symptoms of anemia are-

• Fatigue
• Breathing trouble
• Rapid heartbeat
• Chest pain
• Dizziness or lightheadedness
• Inability to concentrate
• Headache
• Difficulty staying warm
• Loss of sex drive
• Pale skin

Anemia can create further health problems as-

1. certain cancer therapies become less effective
2. it causes strain on your heart as it overworks to deliver oxygen where it's needed
3. it can make it difficult to think clearly.
4. When your brain doesn't get enough oxygen, it can be difficult to read, write, and even perform basic daily activities.

To overcome these problems and regain your energy you must check with your doctor to see if exercise would benefit you. Following a balanced diet with lots of fluids and (as recommended by your doctor) additional nutritional supplements can greatly help.You must take plenty of rest and do not hesitate to ask for any help you need with your daily activities.Keep a daily journal to make notes of when you feel tired.If you get short of breath, breathe with your lips pursed.Keep the things you use often within easy reach.After sitting or lying down, rise slowly to prevent dizziness.Practice of relaxation, meditation and deep breathing helps boost your energy.Reading, talking with friends, listening to music or even writing can help take your mind of your illness for some time.

Web resources and guide to information on cancer

(Next, I will go on to discuss other types of treatment of cancer)

Watch clippings of the day of the opthamological conference in Patna dedicated to daddy at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LphNFLuDvZY

Thanks to Dr.Lav Kochgaway for posting the video on YouTube.

Causes of Cancer

Is cancer caused by an injury?
No.
Is cancer contagious?
No.

80 percent of all cancers are related to the use of :

1. Tobacco products
2. What we eat and drink
3. Exposure to radiation
4. Cancer-causing chemicals (carcinogens) in the environment and the workplace.

Tobacco-
Are you a regular smoker? If you have been smoking for a long period of time,your chances of getting cancer increases. Smoking is the leading cause of lung cancer and many other kinds of cancer. But,if you have quit smoking your risk of getting cancer begins to decrease gradually every year.So,if you are thinking of giving up smoking, it's not late. Moreover,your smoking can put your loved ones at risk of cancer too, popularly known as involuntary smoking.
Chewing tobacco and use of 'smokeless tobacco' causes throat and mouth cancer.But,again if you stop it's use,your tissues which may have reached the pre-cancerous stage can change and become healthy once again.
Even if you maintain healthy eating and regular excercise habits, but use tobacco in some form,you are at risk of getting cancer.Hence giving up tobacco can be a major step towards prevention of many kinds of cancer.

Food and Drink-
We all know that eating a well-balanced diet high in fiber, vitamins, and minerals is the key to healthy living.
Your meal should include five servings of fruits and vegetables each day. Choose more whole-grain breads and cereals.Our indian roti is much more healthy than rice and bread. Minimize the use of eggs, high-fat meat and dairy products, butter, margarine, and cooking oils. Drink plenty of water. Drinking alcohol also increases risk of cancer.Too much alcohol can destroy your liver and cause liver cancer.

Radiation and Sunlight-
It is believed that exposure to large doses of radiation from medical x-rays can increase the risk of cancer.
Ultraviolet radiation from the sun and other sources can cause skin cancer. In a tropical country like India,it is difficult to escape the sun, but covered clothing is a good way to block the harmful UV rays.

Chemicals-
Some metals, chemicals, or pesticides are also known to increase the risk of cancer.A substance or agent that causes cancer is reffered to as a carcinogen.

1. Asbestos-Exposure to asbestos usually occurs by breathing contaminated air in workplaces that make or use asbestos.The tiny fibers can enter the lungs and lead to scarring or cancer of the lungs.
2. Benzene- It is a sweet smelling but, highly toxic hydrocarbon . Long-term exposure to benzene is known to cause leukemia and aplastic anemia .Benzene probably induces DNA damage in hematopoietic stem cells leading to leukemic clones of cells.
3. Benzidine-It is used for dyeing textiles and papers and was one of the first chemicals for which an urinary bladder cancer in humans was reported.
4. Cadmium-It is a metallic element and its salt causes cancer.
5. Nickel-It is a silver-white metallic element. Long-term exposure to nickel fumes can cause nasal and lung cancer.
6. Uranium-This metallic element is used as nuclear fuel and is highly toxic and radioactive. They break into radon particles and can be inhaled by workers along with other dust particles causing lund cancer.
7. Vinyl Chloride-They are used in the manufacture of plastics and long term breathing of vinyl chloride can cause brain tumours, liver or lung cancer.
8. Lastly, your age, genetic make-up of your body and viruses can also account for various types of cancer.

Scientists believe all of the above to play an important role independantly or together in causing cancer.Can you believe that polluted air can also be a reason for cause of cancer.It is not known for sure, but some types of cancer maybe hereditary. Also a strong body immune system can fight diseases better. But,several issues have made it more complicated and confusing about causes of cancer such as using teeth whiteners, intake of too much milk, use of microwave ovens, using hair dyes and many more. If we begin to follow every issue we read about cancer causes, it may become even more difficult for us to live. (Read most recently asked questions on causes of cancer.)

My father quit smoking some years before he was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (but not lung cancer). I was quite surprised with this diagnosis as he had always maintained a healthy diet, went on regular walks, even started following the famous pranayaam(yoga) and never worked with or near chemical polluted areas.So,what could have been his cause of cancer? Viruses, maybe smoking, or was it just his bad luck? But, the truth is that in most of the cases we are unable to decide the actual cause of cancer.Much research is being done to understand this mysterious disease, but a complete understanding and cure is yet to be deciphered.

So at this stage of information about the causes of cancer, it is best to follow healthy diet and excercise habits and be aware of the known carcinogens and avoid them as best as you can!

Next, I will discuss about the treatment for cancer, its positive and negative aspects.

Cancer-a killer

AIDS and Cancer are perhaps the most dreaded diseases of mankind today. Despite a number of researches they continue to baffle like a mystery unsolved. In this modern era where Nations are debating and spending millions on the unimportant and unnecessary nuclear weapons, a significant breakthrough against these diseases are yet to be achieved. We all are still waiting and hoping for the day when a vaccine or cure to eliminate these diseases to a 100% would be discovered. In the next few articles I will be writing about the causes, microbes, recent discoveries and consequences of Cancer, which I have compiled through books, and Internet.

What is Cancer?

We all know the organs of our body are made up of tissues, which in turn are made up of a number of cells. Normally, cells divide to produce more cells only when the body needs them. This orderly process helps keep us healthy.

The problem begins when cells become abnormal and start dividing and forming more and more cells without any purpose. These cells just divide without any control or order. If cells keep dividing without any need of new cells, a mass of tissue forms. This mass of extra tissue is called a growth or tumor. This tumor can be benign or malignant.

The malignant tumors are the ones declared by doctors as the fearful Cancer. The scariest part of these cancer cells is their ability to invade and damage nearby tissues and organs. These cancer cells can also break away from a malignant tumor and enter the bloodstream or the lymphatic system of the body. Thus, now the cancer spreads from the original tumor to form new tumors in other parts of the body. This primary tumor that spreads to infect other parts of the body forming secondary tumor is called metastasis.

Difference between a normal cell and a cancer cell-

Normal cell-

• Reproduce exactly like they should and stop reproducing at the right time,following body signal system.
• Self-destruct immediately if they get damaged and die if they accidentally travel to other parts of the body.
• Cells stick together in the right place due to certain molecules present on the surface.
• Specialise or undergo maturation once they grow with time.

Cancer cell-

• They carry on reproducing without stopping.Overrides normal signal system.
• Unable to self-destruct or self-destruct very slowly. Thus the number of cells keep increasing.
  Do not die if they move to another part of the body.
• Lose their surface molecules and are unable to stick together, thus get detached from their neighboring cells and move to other parts of the body.
• Becomes even less mature with time thus losing more of the genetic information.

Ref : (click here)

Grading the cancer-

The doctor can study the maturity or differentiation of the cells and tell the grade of Cancer. This means if a cancer cell is less developed or less differentiated the grade of the cancer is higher. Cells can be well differentiated, moderately differentiated, or poorly differentiated. Hence a grade 1 cancer has more mature cells than grade 2,3 or 4.

Coming up next will be the causes of cancer and its microbes. If you are interested in contributing please email me your article in not more than 1000 words.

Remembering Daddy

1966-67-Daddy went to England. Mummy
joined him a year later.They returned in 1971.

With mummy and Sangita di in London. One of my favourite photos.

Click here to see more pictures of daddy.

We miss you daddy

"The term cancer is in itself dreadful. Mentally I wanted to become strong to face the situation. I tried to be brave and went through the procedure as advised. I owe my life to my known and unknown donors, friends and relatives who have arranged and are still arranging for blood." Daddy left for us a valuable possession-his thoughts put in words.
His writings are now a treasure for us to cherish lifelong.

It's been two months today. We are trying to get on with our lives, but, it's not anything like before. Every morning, we have the usual tea and biscuits, how I wish daddy, you could join in too. We remember you when we laugh, we remember you when we feel sad. We miss you when we eat; we miss you when we go out. There is a strange emptiness in our hearts, a vacuum in our lives. It's hard to believe you are not here and unbearable to think you will never come back. I had never imagined our lives without your lively voice, your laughter, your appreciation, your advice. You were the glory of this family. Your efforts and strength kept the entire family well-knitted .Now we miss you each and every moment. Fate took you away from us daddy, but we will never let you go….. You will remain in our hearts forever and ever !

The following is written by Sangita di ......
His memories, advice and laughter
His strength, beliefs & jest for life
His compassion are with us forever.
He set for us an example,
What living should be all about.
Of loving and giving,
Of helping and sharing,
The pleasures of life
He showed by example.
In times of adversity
What a brave person should be,
Conquer pain with mental strength
Uncomplainingly.

It's impossible to make us forget him,
It's impossible to remove him from us,
It's impossible to erase his imprints,
At every step we behold him.
He may not be there to share
Pleasures and joys with us.
But,he is in us and we in him.

We shall become what he desired us to be
Strong,courageous and compassionate
Worthy of a human being.

Even during his last few days, daddy remained an example of courage.Mummy remembers his words and often talks about him to us.She has proven herself to be a strong lady.Infact, I feel daddy could take his disease bravely due to mummy's assurances and help throughout. As daddy has written " Purnima, never showed any emotion or distress. On the other hand, she was confident with radiant energy ready to help in any way. Her polite nature, honest dealings and boldness are her great assets. She owes all these things to the confidence she has in God and the Almighty ".

We miss you daddy, but,we also know that your blessings are always with us.

Useful Life?

Have you calculated how many hours you spent on gossiping, nitpicking and complaining today?
Look around. Even inanimate objects like chairs, tables, pots & pans exist for a purpose. Man’s inventions like refrigerators, phone and electricity are for a purpose. They help in making our life comfortable. Then, with even the inanimate making themselves useful why is mankind far behind?
We always think that we are being useful. We work hard at our jobs, to keep good health and please our children. But then we are being useful only to ourselves. When was it that we made ourselves useful to others? When did you last criticize your boss, complain against your colleagues, show disdain for your relatives and neighbours?
Lets, try it this way. Have you
Helped your colleagues overcome his problems?
Listened to a friend and helped him to attain his ambitions
Helped someone to complete his studies?
Fed the hungry?
Gave companionship to the old and needy?
Nursed someone who was sick when you had the time?
Charity begins at home. The Bible says Love Thy Neighbour
Cultivate love, compassion and you will find flow of mercy, helpfulness and kindness in others too. You will learn to appreciate good qualities in them too.
Being useful creates in one’s own self as sense of worthiness and a rise in self esteem. This will lead to a healthy society.
Start now!
Ideas by Sangeeta and Anjani

Changing patterns in behaviour & emotions during disease

written by Dr. Anjani Kishore Prasad
I am giving my personal experience on how disease affects mind, thoughts, behaviour and emotions. During the early phase, whenever it was pointed out to me about my tremor, I skipped over and changed the subject. When it became apparent in face and gait I was mentally disturbed. How could I hide my disease? Being a professional it could have effect on my medical practice. Patients would hesitate for operations because I had tremors. Still I carried on with some explanations. Friends advised me not to give out my diagnosis and its relative disability to known and unknown patients and relatives. I followed it. But mentally, I was disturbed. This dishonesty in behavior and thoughts was alien to me. Slowly but, with confidence I described my disease to a few and later on I found that it has not made a tremendous impact on my medical practice. So far I was doing well with my limited disability. My practice did not suffer.

Next Phase brought a sea of change in my thoughts.This was related to my Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and its treatment. Chemotherapy made me dull, physically unacceptable and emotionally detached. With loss of hair, I was advised to use a wig! Other advises were to be socially present everywhere so that I may remain in circulation. I decided against a wig. I tried to develop positive thoughts to change the situation. It was not possible to be socially present everywhere with a sick face, bald head, no eyebrows. That was a phase when I believed I became an escapist. Loss of energy and vitality brought about lack of concentration emotion and confidence. I was present among the family members and social places but with certain feelings which I cannot describe, in which thinking of getting away from the function, not participating in jokes and function were prime thoughts.

Another phase came and I had total lack of concentration, not appreciating the circumstances and environment. This was a phase when a positive confidence changed into a negative attitude. I avoided social gatherings, professional meetings and marriages and parties. Just avoiding, not because of any physical inability but rather what I would say, a period of depression. I tried my best to read books on how to conquer negative thoughts of depression into positive thoughts. Purnima was always encouraging me to lead a life as I had led and behaved, not to remain detached and isolated. Finally I accepted my fate and in my wisdom the consequences of life. I made Peace with Life. Though helpless physically, I always give a brave face, but in hearts of hearts everything was artificial.

And now, I find myself clinging to my own life, fully dependent. Though everyone wants to help, I behave in a selfish way. I am selfish to that extent that I don’t think anything about others except myself. My worst phase I believe is still to come, loss of practice will bring a tight and strained financial situation. This phase I must conquer.It is not financial aid that I am looking for, but how to manage my own finances and still keep myself happy and contented. I know that somewhere expenses have to be tuned, but it should not obviously reflect on the living standard.
To overcome all these problems I thought religious learnings will give peace. I bought religious books but I did not find much interest in those. I did study The Gita but one reading is not sufficient. As the teaching goes in the Gita you have to surrender to God- mentally, physically and emotionally doing your own duty assigned to you. God will help you.
Looking at Purnima, I believe that study of religious books increases your religious knowledge, but does not make you religious. Basic is meditation and prayer and the rituals of worshipping God that I observed from Purnima, which may follow in me. I am told there is great strength in prayer, meditation and faith.

Doordarshan unforgetables

I came across a very popular and cute doordarshan film 'ek titali anek titaliyan' ! Some of you might still remember it. I found it in someone's blog and thought of sharing it with you. (Click on update 3 )http://www.arjunprabhu.com/blog/archives/2005/04/30/ek-titali-anek-titaliya/
You can also listen to 'mile sur mera tumhara' here,video is not available.You may have to download Media player. I remember we used to come running to the TV at the very sound of these.
Now thinking about it, I recall a few of the advertisements which cast an impression on our childish minds.
1) Jab main chota ladka thaa,badi sharaarat karta thaa
Meri chori pakdi jaati....................jab roshan hua bajaj
Kya rangeen jawani thii,ek raja aur ek rani thii
Raja-rani pakday jaatay.............jab roshan hua bajaj
Ab main bilkul budha hoon,goli khake jita hoon
Lekin aaj bhi ghar kay andar.......jab roshan hua bajaj !!
2) Waah Raju,tumhare daant to motiyon jaise chamak rahe hain.
per masterji aapke?? colgate
3) bhala uski kameez meri kameez say safed kaise? Safedi ki chamkaar SuperRin say !!
4) Lalitajee.....Bhaisaheb........she was famous for surf (I think).Does anybody remember?
5) Washing powder nirma.........Doodh si safedi,nirma say aaye
rangeen kapda bhi khil-khil jaaye.....sabki pasand nirma !!
6) achooo..........!! Yeh kya haal bana rakha hai,kuch letay kyon nahi?
Bahut si dawaayiyan li sir, koi faayda nahi
Coldarin li ?? ........Sardi say aaraam ,chusti say chale kaam.......Coldarin !!
7) Lifebuoy hai jahan...tandaroosti hai wahaan !!
8) Sunday ho ya monday ...roz khaao ande !!
9) Thumps up,taste the thunder !
10) Badi nazon say paali humari banno tujhe haldi ka uptan lagaye sakhiya
teri kaaya ko chanchal banaye sakhiya...roop nikhar aaya hai vicco termeric say !

I will end it here now,though some more are actually hoovering over my mind.
Some shows like Show theme,chitrahaar,Quiz time,Yeh jo hai zindagi, Fauji, Malgudi days and Moghli with the famous song 'jungle jungle baat chali hai' used to be my favourites.

Write about your favourites on doordarshan oldies.It would be fun to read them !!

The Joint Family *

After the beautiful and touching blog "Happines", I was not really sure what to write from my side.But, I have to continue blogging......
Hope you like this......

We were fourteen brothers and sisters all together.Well,we were actually cousins but lived in one big house !
And when my Aunts visited,we would be a whole bunch of twenty-seven cousins. Of course,the older would form their own group,but that did not stop us younger ones from having fun.We were like one big team sharing all the good and bad times together.The festivals and joyous moments were celebrated and shared with great alacrity and happiness. There were some sad and tragic moments which brought us all even more closer.With brothers and sisters of all ages to interact with,we learnt and experienced different aspects of life at an early age.

Living in a joint family has its own advantages and disadvantages.I did not see many disadvantages and happen to recall all the happy times especially during the summer vacations when we had lot of fun together.The heat never seemed to bother us children during those days.The entire house seemed to be echoing with fun and laughter.

The carrom-board championship used to be the most popular and boisterous event. There would be a big fuss, heated discussions,anger,frustration and one by one we would play and lose, leaving two finalists in the end.Another attraction in the hot summer months was the sound of the icecream man. Sometimes one of my uncles would treat us with all the icecream we could eat.We literally created a rampage with the icecream man struggling to keep track of the ones sold !
I cannot remember the number of times we tried to save the sparrow's eggs.Every time an egg would fall down the nest, it would become a project for us to place it back in its nest.I still stand baffled as to why the mother sparrow would renounce that egg and drop it again.This act made us sad ,but we never stopped helping and trying to save the fallen eggs.
Then,we would line up on the terrace all excited, ready to help the cousin flying a kite and battling in the sky with other neighbours.This was the most popular sport we had during those hot and humid summer evenings.We also played cricket,breaking glasss windows of other houses a few times.
Sometimes the heat outside forced us to stay indoors,but failed to lower our spirits.We played games with cards.We could sit for hours and chat,tell stories and jokes.We never missed watching cricket tournaments on television.Infact our parents,uncles and aunts joined us too making the house a stadium in itself.
And how can I forget to mention the times when some of us mischevious ones would creep into the 'prohibitted for kids' area and steal the goodies,choclates and pickles from jars and pantries? We would collect all relished snacks and have a picnic of our own.In all we remained busy having fun the entire summer.

Now that we are grown-ups, all that energy, curiosity, simplicity and innocence seemed to be lost somewhere back in time.I miss what I consider to be the golden era of our lives.But,we all still remain in touch with each other.Thanks to the internet ! Even though we live miles apart,we still remain as one big family, sharing our happy and sad stories regularly.

Happiness

Written by Dr. Anjani Kishore Prasad

To start with I am writing what I wrote on the 1st of January.

Jan.1st 2006
A couple of days ago Anjali suggested that I should write anything - thoughts, experiences, events, past and present. She said there is no dearth of subject. First start writing.

1st January is a day of resolution. What should I resolve? My health is failing, I am getting weak, my feet is edematous, I am anemic needing regular blood transfusion, and worst bowel upset.
...Still I have to resolve, one gets strength.

My first thought is positive thinking. Think positively for better life, with full faith and confidence in God. He will give strength, energy and confidence.
My second thought is love all, help all as far as possible.
Third and final thought avoid loneliness; keep engaged on something useful and fruitful. This includes exercise and reading religious books. With this aim I am going to meet this year.

16th March 2006
We have observed that elders give blessings to youngers by saying "Kush Raho"or 'be happy'.This tradition I followed yesterday during holi.Analysing, we get to the subject that happiness is essential for our life, and will keep us healthy,wealthy and wise.
The question is what is happiness and how we can keep ourselves happy.We look around and find that many of us feel happy in material gain, friendship, and luxury.We are really happy in amassing money,trying to keep without any thought of sharing with the needy.Life style and competion are other aspects we think is essential for happiness.But,there are persons who are happy in helping others, trying to bring some moments of life, food to the needy.During stress, illness and on difficult periods we take shelter of God to give back the life and his happiness.
There are ways, many ways,which we practice and crave to achieve happiness. Thus we find that anything and every thing we need for a happy life is within ourselves.

But basic question stands, are we really happy, do we have the inner satisfaction of peace and happy life.

If you are interested on this abstract thought, please write.

Colour filled Season

Holi, the colourful festival of India is not just about enjoyment,dance,music, food,fun,laughter and colours,but also of friendship,love and celebration.Holi is about enjoying with friends and families.It is about celebrating the season of spring (Fagun).The colourful flowers of spring exhibit to the world that life is beautiful.And it is the pretty colours that bring happiness to the people.Imagine a world without colours !

The popular colours we like to play with in Holi are Red,Yellow,Green,Blue,Orange and Pink !
Red is the colour of fire and energy.Idols of Hindu gods of strength such as Hanuman and Goddess Durga are always seen dressed in red.
Yellow is the colour of sunshine which depicts happiness.Yellow indicates the arrival of spring.Golden yellow is the colour of the grains .
Green is the colour of trees and leaves.Green in other words is the Earth god has created.
Blue is the sky and blue are the rivers and oceans.The creator himself (worshipped as Lord Vishnu by Hindus) is believed to be blue !
Orange in the true sense for India is saffron,the colour of sacrifice and truth.
Pink is considered to be the colour of beauty.

From our very childhood we have been reading about the story behind the festival of Holi.Almost all festivals are celebrated as defeat of evil over good.Prahlad,a true devotee of God was planned to be burned in flames.Holika ,who had the boon of remaining unharmed by fire sat with little Prahlad in her lap in the fire ! The flames had no effect on Prahlad,and instead burned Holika to ashes,thus ending evil and leaving the people joyous.

Holi is perhaps the most colourful celebration in the entire world ! The people of India celebrate by colouring each other in vibrant colours ! This festival is an example to all the people to colour their world with bright colours,the colours of love and happiness !

Indian dream

Did you read Mr.Abul Kalam's Speech in Hyderabad?
(Read)

I think he is absolutely right.Most of us Indians keep double standards.Living in America I find most Indians very law abiding and efficient(including me).
But,the point to discuss is that the people here actually respect the law.The rules and regulations are so strictly followed that if you try to break them you will be punished whatsoever.We don't even dare to bribe the officers here afraid of the consequences.The nature to go by law is embedded in the minds of the people here.This is what is missing in India.
The rich and famous usually escape after their wrong-doings,the laws end up getting enforced only against the average and poor people.I am not saying that this does not happen in the US, but maybe just a few cases.

Also,I often think why the bribery rate is high in India?Maybe the salaries of the average employees are less to cope up with the ever increasing expenses of their day to day lives.
Or,they know they can easily get away as nobody cares to confront or question them.

As for the spitting paan and littering part unless the man is caught on the spot and fined by law officers,people might continue doing this thinking it to be their right to freedom !Try littering on the roads here in US and I am sure the people around you will call the cops or at least show their displeasure.

And for using commodities made in the US or other foreign countries, it seems to have become a fashion.I think most Indians are fascinated by the Bollywood style.Looking at the style of actors and actresses of Indian cinema what do we want? We too start going for foreign brands!

So, in the end I think the whole system needs revival.Of course the citizens should do their duties, but in return should get positive results from the government.India is already in the eyes of the World and I hope a new golden era would arise again in the history of India.I sincerely hope that India becomes a country where, people from other parts of the world would like to settle, and not vice-versa.I am sure every Indian has this dream and would like to mould the people and themselves as they dreamt.

A Man Of Caliber

Amit Kishore Prasad,
Founder of SatNav Technologies
Pioneers in Navigation, Telematics
and Facilities Management related products
(Face to Face)

At a young age he has attained much ! He continues to make his family proud.I would like to wish him all the best for a very successful future!

Patna opinion

I came through a very interesting opinion poll in Outlook India ! The numbers of Lucknow and Patna are noteworthy. While majority of the people in big cities like Chenai dream of settling in the US,

Would you want to settle down in the US?

------------------- Yes-------No-----Don’t know/ Can’t say

-------------------46 -------51----------------3

Delhi-------------36--------59----------------4

Mumbai----------52-------47-----------------1

Chenai------------70-------29-----------------2

Banglore--------- 48------ 49-----------------3

Calcutta----------47------- 50-----------------3

Hyderabad-------41------- 59-----------------1

Ahmedabad----- 54------- 38-----------------9

Lucknow----------34------- 63-----------------3

Patna------------- 29--------69-----------------1

most people in Patna seem to be content with what India has to offer to them. (entire article)

Look at Chenai's numbers.....70% desire to settle in the USA !! What's wrong Chenaites ?

Is it because it's the people working in software related companies and businesses who really even think about going to the US. Or is it because the people of Patna prefer the 'easy-going atmosphere' and cheaper lifestyle.Some of them are frustrated with the current situation there and talk about moving to other parts of India.I have heard about a lot of Patnaites moving to Delhi.Then there are a few who think Patna to be on a verge of decline,but moving else where would only increase their problems.Whatever; the polls show that 69% of People of Patna may not want to leave their country.I do not think they would want to settle in Britain or Thailand or Japan if it's not USA !!

Well,what does that make you think about the people of the once flourishing Nalanda and Patliputra land ? Do you think they want a simple lifestyle ? Do they not want to plunge in the ocean of endless wealth desires ?Do you think they love their country?

Whatever the reason may be, I feel a strange pride within myself belonging to Patna !!

Confused Me *

When my husband decided to come to the US, I was not at all happy or excited.It took me six long years to convince him to return back.Well, we have finally made our decision to return once my husband gets a good job offer in India.I have already started buying things I would like to use in India.We have stopped buying furniture,electronics or other big items which cannot be used in India.But, somehow inside me I do not find the thrill and excitement I had expected.Why? I do not know.

Maybe it's the nervousness of starting all over again.Or like many people have I started believing that my kids would be better of here.Maybe its the lifestyle.No,I don't think so.Our lifestyle has not changed much. So do I want to go back or not.I am not sure. My mother used to tell us when we were kids that when you are confused you should close your eyes and listen to what your heart really says.I have been trying to do this every night,but my heart seems confused too ! So, let me leave this thing to time and destiny.